Nadbetsat Shavenran is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, moody swallow.

Nadbetsat Shavenran created the world five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nadbetsat Shavenran, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Nadbetsat Shavenran, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Nadbetsat Shavenran's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Nadbetsat Shavenran's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never think about gravity near aardvarks while wearing cyan ear rings and balancing three zinc spheres on your chest.

3. Always make sure there are no ducks in a building before entering it.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.