Bityarpjap is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, narcissistic unicorn.

Bityarpjap created a photon nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bityarpjap, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bityarpjap, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Bityarpjap's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Bityarpjap's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never think about eukaryotes.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.