Metfadnarl is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, unfair jaguar.

Metfadnarl created a strange quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Metfadnarl, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Metfadnarl, she will not care at all.

Metfadnarl's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Metfadnarl's Holy Commandments

1. Put Metfadnarl first in all things.

2. Never sprint near snakes.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate voles.

4. Retreat if seven sheep approach from the north.

5. Do not cook food in pots.