Ruttkonkabdaddidgen Pagnuttit is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, merciless zebra.

Ruttkonkabdaddidgen Pagnuttit created snails five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ruttkonkabdaddidgen Pagnuttit, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Ruttkonkabdaddidgen Pagnuttit, it will not invite you to parties.

Ruttkonkabdaddidgen Pagnuttit's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Ruttkonkabdaddidgen Pagnuttit's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Always help birds in need.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Always help sick rats.

5. Never talk about cell theory.