Feblamran Gonbatnart is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, selfish deer.

Feblamran Gonbatnart created parasitic wasps four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Feblamran Gonbatnart, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Feblamran Gonbatnart, she will turn you into a mouse.

Feblamran Gonbatnart's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Feblamran Gonbatnart's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Feblamran Gonbatnart six times a day.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Always obey Feblamran Gonbatnart's priests.

4. Never feed spinach to bats while wearing mauve shoes.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate frogs.