Ponflabbenyart is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, ruthless jackal.

Ponflabbenyart created the cosmos eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ponflabbenyart, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Ponflabbenyart, he will try to impress you with trees.

Ponflabbenyart's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Ponflabbenyart's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear shirts.

2. You must never eat bread.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Ponflabbenyart loves frogs, so they must be respected.

5. Never talk about foxes.