Neltailjig is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, proud wasp.

Neltailjig created the planet Jupiter seven million years ago.

If you believe in Neltailjig, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Neltailjig, he will ignore you.

Neltailjig's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Neltailjig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Do not wear orange clothing.

4. Never think about spacetime near mites while wearing fawn boots and balancing six iron spheres on your legs.

5. Never go into purple rooms.