Bissgatcen Quartsasyarlcun is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, omniscient squid.

Bissgatcen Quartsasyarlcun created the Black Eye Galaxy six million years ago.

If you believe in Bissgatcen Quartsasyarlcun, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Bissgatcen Quartsasyarlcun, he will turn you into a puffin.

Bissgatcen Quartsasyarlcun's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Bissgatcen Quartsasyarlcun's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Bissgatcen Quartsasyarlcun.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never sprint near snails.

5. Never think ill of sick grasshopers.