Vedominbim is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, happy yak.

Vedominbim created silver seven million years ago.

If you believe in Vedominbim, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Vedominbim, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Vedominbim's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Vedominbim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat bread.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always help sick swans.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.