Teengudquaf is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, narcissistic rat.

Teengudquaf created light eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Teengudquaf, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Teengudquaf, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Teengudquaf's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Teengudquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about ultrasonics.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not leap in public.

4. Do not shave your chest.

5. Do not drink alcohol.