Labpadgid is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, ruthless hyena.

Labpadgid created humanity two billion years ago.

If you believe in Labpadgid, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Labpadgid, it will torture you forever.

Labpadgid's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Labpadgid's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at black holes.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never talk about dark energy near geese while wearing mauve corsets and balancing six carbon spheres on your feet.

5. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Labpadgid on top of all buildings.