Quagboming is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, proud swan.

Quagboming created Mount Everest six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quagboming, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Quagboming, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Quagboming's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Quagboming's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Quagboming in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not wear fawn clothing.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Always help sick badgers.