Cussdubstik is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, wise unicorn.

Cussdubstik created snails seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cussdubstik, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Cussdubstik, he will turn you into a rock.

Cussdubstik's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Cussdubstik's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat parsnips.

2. Put Cussdubstik first in all things.

3. You must never eat gooseberries.

4. Never think about ultrasonics near horses while wearing indigo stockings and balancing six titanium spheres on your legs.

5. Ducks are not to be trusted.