Vegxemveen is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, contented elephant.

Vegxemveen created snails two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vegxemveen, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Vegxemveen, he will turn you into a rat.

Vegxemveen's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Vegxemveen's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large iron sculpture of Vegxemveen on top of all buildings.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never sprint near birds.