Bellfasdav is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, slow jackal.

Bellfasdav created the solar system six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bellfasdav, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bellfasdav, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Bellfasdav's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Bellfasdav's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not trade with those who eat strawberries.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never laugh near badgers.