Kikbudboss is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, ruthless mink.

Kikbudboss created snails two billion years ago.

If you believe in Kikbudboss, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Kikbudboss, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Kikbudboss' most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Kikbudboss' Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured monkeys.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Kikbudboss.

5. Do not drink water in orange rooms.