Tifxinwik is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, contented dragonfly.

Tifxinwik created the Whirlpool Galaxy four years ago.

If you believe in Tifxinwik, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Tifxinwik, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Tifxinwik's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Tifxinwik's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from gray manatees for they are unholy.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not wear cyan clothing.