Fabjanrawjab is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, overgenerous toad.

Fabjanrawjab created matter three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fabjanrawjab, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Fabjanrawjab, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Fabjanrawjab's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Fabjanrawjab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt aardvarks.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fabjanrawjab.

3. Never think ill of sick monkeys.

4. Do not wear silver on your body.

5. Do not trade with those who eat onions.