Watlidbif is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, duplicitous giraffe.

Watlidbif created the planet Mars three billion years ago.

If you believe in Watlidbif, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Watlidbif, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Watlidbif's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Watlidbif's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Watlidbif's priests.

2. Never leap in holy places.

3. Always help pigs.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Fast once a month.