Boncidved is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, conceited squirrel.

Boncidved created silver five billion years ago.

If you believe in Boncidved, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Boncidved, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Boncidved's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Boncidved's Holy Commandments

1. Boncidved loves great tits, so they must be respected.

2. Always obey Boncidved's priests.

3. Do not dye your hair green.

4. Do not bounce in public.

5. Always treat foxes with great respect.