Lanloptof is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, overgenerous octopus.

Lanloptof created the Milkyway three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lanloptof, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Lanloptof, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Lanloptof's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Lanloptof's Holy Commandments

1. Lanloptof must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not eat apples.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not wear platinum on your body.

5. You must love Lanloptof.