Flanvegnutgab is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, intelligent dove.

Flanvegnutgab created matter three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flanvegnutgab, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Flanvegnutgab, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Flanvegnutgab's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Flanvegnutgab's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant titanium sculpture of Flanvegnutgab in the centre of the settlement.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Always help porpoises in need.

4. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate rats.