Nulkonbarn is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, unjust wyvern.

Nulkonbarn created life six billion years ago.

If you believe in Nulkonbarn, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Nulkonbarn, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Nulkonbarn's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Nulkonbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never talk about fire.