Gangiggan Vonktin is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, all-powerful squirrel.

Gangiggan Vonktin created energy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gangiggan Vonktin, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Gangiggan Vonktin, he will turn you into a goat.

Gangiggan Vonktin's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Gangiggan Vonktin's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

4. Never hurt seals.

5. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Gangiggan Vonktin on top of all buildings.