Ominmatcunlogjamrutt Japsugrull is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, pitiless hamster.

Ominmatcunlogjamrutt Japsugrull created carbon three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ominmatcunlogjamrutt Japsugrull, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Ominmatcunlogjamrutt Japsugrull, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Ominmatcunlogjamrutt Japsugrull's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Ominmatcunlogjamrutt Japsugrull's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into magenta rooms.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Ominmatcunlogjamrutt Japsugrull.

3. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never wear white shoes.