Flaggabvan is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, dishonest snail.

Flaggabvan created matter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flaggabvan, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Flaggabvan, it will throw large rocks at you.

Flaggabvan's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Flaggabvan's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat turnips.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Do not leap in public.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Flaggabvan loves whales, so they must be honoured.