Cipwodmad Listwodneg is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, resourceful hummingbird.

Cipwodmad Listwodneg created the cosmos eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cipwodmad Listwodneg, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Cipwodmad Listwodneg, she will turn you into a goat.

Cipwodmad Listwodneg's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Cipwodmad Listwodneg's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat apples.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never feed bananas to dogs while wearing magenta dresses.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not eat coconuts.