Logbemcun Cumpopdad Fithapzak is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, omniscient bear.

Logbemcun Cumpopdad Fithapzak created Mount Everest two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Logbemcun Cumpopdad Fithapzak, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Logbemcun Cumpopdad Fithapzak, she will turn you into a worm.

Logbemcun Cumpopdad Fithapzak's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Logbemcun Cumpopdad Fithapzak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear copper on your body.

2. Birds are not to be trusted.

3. Never mention frogs.

4. Always make sure there are no ants in a building before entering it.

5. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in gray.