Flapcutbep is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, competent alligator.

Flapcutbep created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Flapcutbep, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Flapcutbep, she will have a low opinion of you.

Flapcutbep's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Flapcutbep's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fluid mechanics near ducks while wearing cyan coats and balancing three iron spheres on your hands.

2. Always look after injured pigs.

3. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a room before entering it.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate hamsters.