Tailcadtonk is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, stupid slug.

Tailcadtonk created the Cigar Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tailcadtonk, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tailcadtonk, it will turn you into a duck.

Tailcadtonk's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Tailcadtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat pineapples.

2. Always help frogs in need.

3. Do not hurt mites.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Run away if five ants approach from the west.