Veg Cenjintam Bissnurttim is a god.

He takes the form of a large, proud beaver.

Veg Cenjintam Bissnurttim created Africa six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Veg Cenjintam Bissnurttim, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Veg Cenjintam Bissnurttim, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Veg Cenjintam Bissnurttim's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Veg Cenjintam Bissnurttim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. You must never eat cucumbers.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force near snails while wearing turquoise scarves and balancing six copper spheres on your back.

4. Never feed peas to foxes while wearing purple skirts.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.