Fodmatbiss is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, two-faced dolphin.

Fodmatbiss created the Small Magellanic Cloud two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fodmatbiss, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Fodmatbiss, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Fodmatbiss' most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Fodmatbiss' Holy Commandments

1. Put Fodmatbiss first in all things.

2. Never talk about grasshopers.

3. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Fodmatbiss on top of all buildings.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Fodmatbiss.