Ripsabcip is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, intelligent goose.

Ripsabcip created an electron eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Ripsabcip, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Ripsabcip, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Ripsabcip's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Ripsabcip's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate voles.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never laugh near shrews.

5. Never feed lentils to tortoises while wearing jumpers.