Appjadpidjonbonktarp is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, self-assured zebra.

Appjadpidjonbonktarp created the Cigar Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Appjadpidjonbonktarp, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Appjadpidjonbonktarp, he will turn you into a hamster.

Appjadpidjonbonktarp's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Appjadpidjonbonktarp's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not wear gold on your body.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always treat capybaras with great respect.

5. Always help gulls.