Gantipton is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, pitiless sheep.

Gantipton created the planet Earth four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gantipton, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Gantipton, he will be very unhappy.

Gantipton's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Gantipton's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed grapes to capybaras while wearing trousers.

2. Always make sure there are no cats in a building before entering it.

3. Run away from black dolphins, for they are unholy.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never talk about dark matter near porpoises while wearing white scarves and balancing seven silicon spheres on your back.