Rapnigrig is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, dishonourable badger.

Rapnigrig created Europe three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rapnigrig, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Rapnigrig, she will turn you into a dog.

Rapnigrig's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Rapnigrig's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no sharks in a room before entering it.

2. Never laugh in holy places.

3. Erect seven lead sculptures of Rapnigrig on top of important buildings.

4. Run away from mauve great tits, for they are unholy.

5. Erect a giant titanium sculpture of Rapnigrig in the centre of the settlement.