Jarnwatfun is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, amazing parrot.

Jarnwatfun created an atom five million years ago.

If you believe in Jarnwatfun, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Jarnwatfun, she will turn you into a slug.

Jarnwatfun's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Jarnwatfun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep four ants in a large pit.

2. Never hurt snakes.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never feed onions to whales while wearing shoes.