Bumxinrig is a god.

It takes the form of a large, prudent walrus.

Bumxinrig created dark energy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bumxinrig, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Bumxinrig, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Bumxinrig's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Bumxinrig's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh near dogs.

2. Do not dye your hair violet.

3. Never talk about dark matter near porpoises while wearing green rings and balancing five iron spheres on your neck.

4. Never think about ultrasonics near turtles while wearing yellow shorts and balancing seven tin spheres on your face.

5. Pray towards the east.