Yaklegwip is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, prudent raccoon.

Yaklegwip created water five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yaklegwip, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Yaklegwip, she will turn you into a plant.

Yaklegwip's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Yaklegwip's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about optics.

2. Learn four new languages a year.

3. You must love Yaklegwip.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.