Cipmadjam is a god.

She takes the form of a large, kind rat.

Cipmadjam created everything that exists four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cipmadjam, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Cipmadjam, she will jump up and down on your head.

Cipmadjam's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Cipmadjam's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about thermodynamics.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never feed bread to cats while wearing pink kilts.

4. Do not eat figs.

5. Hide from fawn ducks for they are unholy.