Bignartvil is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, calm narwhal.

Bignartvil created an atom six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bignartvil, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bignartvil, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Bignartvil's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Bignartvil's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if four tapirs approach from the west.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Bignartvil on top of all buildings.

4. Hide from mauve moths for they are unholy.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.