Lagshavhab is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, all-knowing rhinoceros.

Lagshavhab created Africa seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Lagshavhab, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Lagshavhab, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Lagshavhab's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Lagshavhab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near gulls while wearing cyan rings.

4. Pigs are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Retreat if four mites approach from the south.