Padshavnartcidsaf is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, resourceful octopus.

Padshavnartcidsaf created dark matter two million years ago.

If you believe in Padshavnartcidsaf, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Padshavnartcidsaf, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Padshavnartcidsaf's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Padshavnartcidsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fluid mechanics near tortoises while wearing pink shirts.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Worship no other gods but Padshavnartcidsaf.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Padshavnartcidsaf.