Dagrakyim is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, temperamental crab.

Dagrakyim created humankind two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dagrakyim, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Dagrakyim, she will remove you from existence.

Dagrakyim's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Dagrakyim's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate rats.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never paint your legs blue.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not drink alcohol.