Cemwigtik is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, all-powerful lizard.

Cemwigtik created time and space eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cemwigtik, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Cemwigtik, he will turn you into a slug.

Cemwigtik's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Cemwigtik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Cemwigtik.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Do not speak about coconuts.

5. Do not trade with those who eat gooseberries.