Hamtipwan Madkadkar is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, humane pig.

Hamtipwan Madkadkar created the Black Eye Galaxy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Hamtipwan Madkadkar, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Hamtipwan Madkadkar, it will remove you from existence.

Hamtipwan Madkadkar's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Hamtipwan Madkadkar's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never feed lentils to eagles while wearing yellow dresses.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not keep nine manatees in a large pit.

5. Never play with disobedient children.