Doggepxuck is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, proud slug.

Doggepxuck created humanity eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Doggepxuck, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Doggepxuck, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Doggepxuck's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Doggepxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity near mice while wearing white tights and balancing eight tin spheres on your head.

2. Always wear turquoise.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.