Konflaptag Sabhasvonquam Stipbasttetti is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, resourceful gerbil.

Konflaptag Sabhasvonquam Stipbasttetti created carbon six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Konflaptag Sabhasvonquam Stipbasttetti, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Konflaptag Sabhasvonquam Stipbasttetti, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Konflaptag Sabhasvonquam Stipbasttetti's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Konflaptag Sabhasvonquam Stipbasttetti's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Do not shave your chest.

4. Do not wear nickel on your body.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.