Xenflatbus is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, quiet whale.

Xenflatbus created light five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xenflatbus, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Xenflatbus, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Xenflatbus' most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Xenflatbus' Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Worship no other gods but Xenflatbus.

3. Never write about dark matter.

4. Do not keep three frogs in a large pit.

5. Do not cook food in pots.