Pakmiggedwik is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, kind chicken.

Pakmiggedwik created a bottom quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pakmiggedwik, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Pakmiggedwik, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Pakmiggedwik's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Pakmiggedwik's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about thermodynamics.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not sprint in public.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Hide if nine gulls approach from the south.